Everybody’s talking about it and because it’s so close to my heart, I have to too.
I’m so angry at Time Magazine because they have sensationalized something that is very benign and simple. They’ve highlighted extreme cases of extended breast-feeding and now have everyone up in arms and horrified by women who would put their children through this.
I haven’t read the article yet, just seen the pics and read the comments. People are saying some terrible stuff. It makes me want to cry because it’s not like they think at all. There is nothing selfish or weird about extended breastfeeding.
I, like so many other women, never planned to nurse my babies past the age of one, it just kind of happened. My oldest daughter’s first birthday approached and she was showing NO indications of wanting to give up nursing, so I did my research. I read books, articles, talked to the pediatrician, and to other moms. Ultimately I decided we’d keep nursing until she weaned herself or turned 3, whichever happened first. My oldest daughter’s love language is physical touch, she loves to cuddle and be close, she was also a paci baby. Nursing was the way she relaxed and soothed herself. Breastfeeding to her was like meditation, watching TV, or drinking coffee to me. It made those early years easier for all of us. She ended up weaning at 2 years and 8 mos, 4 months before turning 3. She is 8 now and incredibly emotionally independent-but still a big cuddle bunny- and she has no real memories of breastfeeding. My youngest daughter was a bit different. She was less attached and really just liked to eat a lot as a baby. She wasn’t ready to wean at 1 either so we kept going for only 6 more months. She was weaned at 18 months. At that point I will say that I felt so incredibly FREE! I had loaned my body to my children for over three years and at that point I had it back. I cherished those nursing years, but it was never something I did solely for myself, it was always a choice made from KNOWING it was best for MY child.
So on the topic of extended nursing. Please don’t call it weird. It’s not weird and when you say that you demean the loving choices women are making for their children. Please don’t call it selfish. A mother is literally giving up part of her body to offer something healthy and good to her child. Please, please, please, don’t dare insinuate the act is at all sexual. I personally felt zero sexual sensation in my breasts for over 3 years, that switch cut off completely the day my first daughter was born until I weaned my second daughter. And finally please don’t say a mother is going to ruin her child. You haven’t walked in her shoes, you don’t know the needs of HER child, so you can’t possibly know how said child will turn out in the end.
In my opinion most women almost by accident find themselves still nursing their two-year-olds. I’d say very few planned it that way. We all just do the best we can with what we have and try to meet our children’s needs the way we see fit. I just really wish Time Magazine could have chosen a picture of what extended nursing really looks like, so that instead of seeing it as something odd people could see it for what it is-just another act of love.