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‘My Viewpoint’ Category

  1. An Unsensationalized Account of Extended Breastfeeding

    May 11, 2012 by leslee

    Everybody’s talking about it and because it’s so close to my heart, I have to too.

    I’m so angry at Time Magazine because they have sensationalized something that is very benign and simple. They’ve highlighted extreme cases of extended breast-feeding and now have everyone up in arms and horrified by women who would put their children through this.

    I haven’t read the article yet, just seen the pics and read the comments. People are saying some terrible stuff. It makes me want to cry because it’s not like they think at all. There is nothing selfish or weird about extended breastfeeding.

    I, like so many other women, never planned to nurse my babies past the age of one, it just kind of happened. My oldest daughter’s first birthday approached and she was showing NO indications of wanting to give up nursing, so I did my research. I read books, articles, talked to the pediatrician, and to other moms. Ultimately I decided we’d keep nursing until she weaned herself or turned 3, whichever happened first. My oldest daughter’s love language is physical touch, she loves to cuddle and be close, she was also a paci baby. Nursing was the way she relaxed and soothed herself. Breastfeeding to her was like meditation, watching TV, or drinking coffee to me. It made those early years easier for all of us. She ended up weaning at 2 years and 8 mos, 4 months before turning 3. She is 8 now and incredibly emotionally independent-but still a big cuddle bunny- and she has no real memories of breastfeeding. My youngest daughter was a bit different. She was less attached and really just liked to eat a lot as a baby. She wasn’t ready to wean at 1 either so we kept going for only 6 more months. She was weaned at 18 months. At that point I will say that I felt so incredibly FREE! I had loaned my body to my children for over three years and at that point I had it back. I cherished those nursing years, but it was never something I did solely for myself, it was always a choice made from KNOWING it was best for MY child.

    So on the topic of extended nursing. Please don’t call it weird. It’s not weird and when you say that you demean the loving choices women are making for their children. Please don’t call it selfish. A mother is literally giving up part of her body to offer something healthy and good to her child. Please, please, please, don’t dare insinuate the act is at all sexual. I personally felt zero sexual sensation in my breasts for over 3 years, that switch cut off completely the day my first daughter was born until I weaned my second daughter. And finally please don’t say a mother is going to ruin her child. You haven’t walked in her shoes, you don’t know the needs of HER child, so you can’t possibly know how said child will turn out in the end.

    In my opinion most women almost by accident find themselves still nursing their two-year-olds. I’d say very few planned it that way. We all just do the best we can with what we have and try to meet our children’s needs the way we see fit. I just really wish Time Magazine could have chosen a picture of what extended nursing really looks like, so that instead of seeing it as something odd people could see it for what it is-just another act of love.

    Category Family Life, My Viewpoint | Tags: | No Comments

  2. Home of the Free?

    May 9, 2012 by leslee

    I’ve been having a bit of a political identity crisis lately. I watched Tom Coburn on Charlie Rose over a week ago and everything the man said, I agreed with. He talked about making massive cuts and I agreed (there’s so much wasteful spending, I really think organizations could do more with less if they had to and should try before there is no choice in the matter). He talked about lowering tax rates (even for the wealthiest) and getting rid of loopholes and I agreed. (I really believe the problem is not that the rates need to be higher but that there are so many loopholes that people and corps can get away with paying little to no taxes at all.) He talked about how the debt would ruin our country and I agreed.

    After the show was over I thought, oh my gosh I might be a Republican.

    And then the week goes on and various issues are brought to my attention.

    First I read an article about a new abortion law in Kansas. It bans abortion after 20 weeks (which frankly, I agree with) but it does a lot of other stuff, including making it very hard to get services at all and allowing your doctor to withhold medical information from you if they think it might cause you to consider abortion. For me personally, I am pro-life, but I strongly believe that I can not dictate what another person does. Unless I am willing to help a woman care for an unwanted child, I can’t ask her to have that baby. So seeing as I have my hands full with my own two kids, I am politically pro-choice. And at the end of the day people who don’t want to have their babies will find a way not to have them…even if it means in back alleys. I’d much rather the option be there so women can be safe.

    And now we have the news that the amendment to ban gay marriage in the NC constitution has passed. This one makes me furious to my core. It does a whole lot more than ban gay marriage, but the gay marriage ban is enough to make me sick. Most children grow up with a vision of their happily-ever-after future. It usually involves a family-husband or wife, and kids. All over the country lawmakers and politicians are literally creating laws to keep part of the population from enjoying this huge chunk of the American dream. It is 2012, we should be so far beyond this. America is supposed to be the home of the free and the brave, but instead a bunch of cowards are voting to rip away and limit the freedoms of their fellow citizens (including family members and friends that they supposedly love).

    So this week has reminded me, as fiscally conservative as I may be leaning these days, I will NEVER be Republican. It is not OK to infringe on personal rights and this seems to be a priority for that party right now. Women and gay people are not sub-human. They deserve to make decision about their bodies, their families, and their happily-ever-afters without the input of religious zealots.

    Category My Viewpoint | Tags: | 10 Comments

  3. Alkalize or Die?

    April 26, 2012 by leslee

    I’ve read two health and nutrition books this week: Michael Pollan’s In Defense of Food and Alkalize or Die by Dr. Theodore A. Baroody. Each book offers its own set of advice. Pollan says simply.

    Eat food, not too much, mostly plants.

    Baroody gives his advice in a more complicated fashion.

    Your body needs to be more alkaline than acidic. The ideal ph level is between 6-7. He gives a chart that shows the ph levels of most foods and throughout the day you want to eat most of your foods from the alkalizing side of the chart. Optimally you want to have a 80/20 ratio of alkaline verses acidic foods. He also lists lots of substances (and I call them substances only because I’d never heard of any of them) that you can use to supplement and create a more alkalizing environment. He also recommends colonics about twice a year (no thank you). Oh and he says that you should chew every bite of food 25-50 times as some foods go from acidic to alkalizing just by being over-chewed. In between all of the advice he also simply scares the shit out of you (my coffee habit will certainly be the death of me).

    But after I finished reading Alkalize or Die and stopped obsessing about mine and my family’s demise via acidic foods, I realized that he said basically the same thing as Michael Pollan. When I looked over the list of alkalizing foods they were all real food (no processed food like stuff) and were mostly plants. And of course, as I learned, if you take his advice and thoroughly chew your food it’s almost impossible to overeat. So really if you eat real food, not too much, and mostly plants you will also probably create a more alkaline environment in your body.

    I will say though that I learned a lot from the Alkalize or Die book. It has great information wrapped up in a doom and gloom package. I’ve come to understand that most (or even all) of our diseases and ailments are caused by what we eat. We’re eating insane amounts of food that is not real food and food that is also extremely acidic. I first sought out this information because I wanted to get healthier and thinner, but lately I’ve explored it further because I have joint pain (my knees and hips). I am 37 years old, not 77. I plan to be active until I die peacefully in my sleep at the age of 102, so I’ve got to take care of this vessel I’m in.

    I’ve watched people in my life get diabetes and still NOT change their eating habits (or change them temporarily only to return) and I found it crazy. I mean if all it took to heal was eating differently, how could you not do it? But now I get it. I know I could feel better if I could just commit to giving up coffee, sugar, and other food like substances, but that feels the same as if someone told me to run a marathon tomorrow. So I’m going to take baby steps and start training for my marathon. I really hope that I’ll be able to say I finished it, kicked my acidic substance use and reached an entirely pain-free state, but I’m just going to focus on the process instead of the product.

    And for those reading this. If you are experiencing pain in your body, it is quite possible it is caused by an acidic environment due to diet. If you are at your wits end, I’d definitely suggest exploring food (real food, mostly plants) as medicine.

    Category Books I've Read, My Viewpoint | Tags: | 2 Comments

  4. Just to be Seen

    April 21, 2012 by leslee

    I received a message this week that came in the form of a birthday greeting. It was from someone I dearly love. It expressed, in the most loving way possibly, an unwillingness to accept that I, Leslee, am on a different spiritual path from the message sender. My loved one is holding onto hope that some day I find my way back to the right and true path (AKA theirs).

    When I was done reading it I felt so angry and so hurt. The message that I found, wrapped up tightly in those words of “hope” and “love,” was this one: I don’t see you for who you are and I refuse to ever do so.

    I have spent a lot of time going within myself to find out what feels right and rings true for me. There is no religion that can sum it up. There is no established path that suits me perfectly. I am blazing my own trail and it feels wonderful. It brings me peace. It makes me happy. Sometimes it is love (human love, divine love, self love). Sometimes creativity. Still other times it is silence.

    But as more time passes I am certain that my path is not in a book…not even THE book. My path flows through me from whatever it is that is greater than me. I am the only one who can live my life. My only hope is that those who choose to know me and love me in this life will also choose to see me and respect me for exactly who I am. That is the greatest gift and purest love anyone could offer. Isn’t it what we all want anyway?

    JUST TO BE SEEN….

    Category My Viewpoint, Spiritual | Tags: | 6 Comments

  5. What’s New With Me

    April 5, 2012 by leslee

    It’s been a little while since I’ve blogged here. The last post was about getting down to business and getting my second book in the trilogy done. I’m happy to report I’m still in the trenches, have written at least 10K words since I recommitted to it. It’s been hard the last couple of days because I’ve hit a down spot and have sat in front of the computer literally not knowing what was going to happen. This is where my spiritual tools come into play. Basically I just expect it to come and I show up. As long as I show up, whoever it is “out there” that’s got my back gives me what I need. And I write it down. As I write I’m also becoming aware of what’s missing so I’ll be ready for the big edit when it’s time.

    In other writing news, I learned last week that I won a local writing contest I entered. My winning article is published in the Tallahassee edition of Natural Awakenings magazine. You can read it here by clicking on the “current issue” and finding page 28. I was pretty surprised and excited to learn I won!

    Another recent development in my life is my venture into the art world. When I think back to the things I loved to do as a child creating art and writing were way up there. I can still clearly remember how good it felt when my mother gave me an art kit for Valentine’s Day when I was about ten. Somewhere a long the way, probably in jr. high school comparing myself to the top students in my art class- Brad Pressley and Christina Hicks, I decided I wasn’t good enough and shouldn’t bother. I stopped pursuing art. But in the past few years I’ve been dipping my toes into the artistic waters. I started collaging first in vision board workshops but then started creating collage cards as gifts for friends. I did that for a few months and then stopped for over a year. Recently I picked the hobby back up and after an ego-busting session where I received the message that I should be creating art, I started painting. Once I realized I could paint, I decided to combine the two, collage and paint. I’ve created about 15 pieces in the last month. I also took a leap of faith and contacted a guy here in town who runs a gallery. This week I took him 6 of my pieces, some of which will be displayed in his gallery tomorrow night during Tallahassee’s First Friday event. It will be interesting to see the response to my work.

    Tomorrow I’m meeting with my awesome web-host and she’s going to help me get a paypal button on this website so I can make my art available for sale! I want to offer the stuff I’ve already created but I also want to provide my intuitive art services too. One of my favorite things to create is personalized pieces for people. I’ve done this a lot for friends. I think of the person and pick collage images for them intuitively. Recently I did a couple of mixed media pieces for friends and I chose the colors intuitively as well. I sent one piece off to a friend and days later she posted a picture of the vision board she’d created for herself. The color that dominated her board was the color that had dominated the picture I’d made her. It verified for me that I’d been guided to the right palate for her! This is something I feel like I could do for anyone, not just people I know personally, and I hope it might be something people are interested in. So look for that addition here next week (hopefully)! And if you’re in Tallahassee, I hope to see you at First Friday tomorrow night!

    I’ll leave you with a picture of the art I created for my friend!

    Category My Viewpoint | Tags: ,,,, | 2 Comments

  6. You’re Not Special

    January 30, 2012 by leslee

    I first came across this idea a few weeks ago on Benjamin Smythe’s youtube page. He was answering someone’s question about how they can feel better when they look in the mirror. Basically he said that thinking we are ugly is just another way to feel special. There is negative “special” just as much as there is positive “special.”

    I was at a church meeting on Friday night and we went over our vision statement. There was one particular line that just smacked me in the face. I can’t remember the exact wording but it basically said “from the Christ within, we acknowledge the uniqueness and unity of all people.” In Unity the “Christ within” refers to our spiritual nature or divinity within. I felt this statement was contradictory. The way I see it, our ego acknowledges our uniqueness but the Christ within does not.

    Uniqueness, which I’ll call “specialness”, separates us. If I put you on a pedestal, whether it’s to mock you or to celebrate you, I am setting you a part from myself. I can’t connect with you if all I can see is how you are different from me. It is a game the ego plays.

    At a workshop yesterday, the leader (Jon Mundy PhD) told the prodigal son story. In that story the father let the son go out on his own and welcomed him back without ever making a remark about who he was or what he had done. When the son wanted to leave, the father never said “Oh you think you’re special? Better than us?” and when the son returned he didn’t say “see I knew you’d be back.” No he simply let him go and when the son returned all he said was “welcome home.”

    The Christ within sees that we are the same. It sees that what we do to another we do to ourselves. It understands that there is something that connects us all. It is most alive and present in unity, not in focusing on uniqueness.

    What I am realizing is the more I focus on my “specialness” the more it hinders my growth. One example is my writing. When I think of my writing ability as a talent that I am supposed to do something special with, I get lost in that idea and I’m no longer able to write. I worry about whether what I’m doing is good enough and if people will like it. I completely disconnect from the source of my inspiration in the first place and end up bogged down and blocked. If I take away the concept of talent or specialness, all I have left is words in my head that I transfer to a page. It’s not special, it’s just what I do and what I will continue to do as long as I am detached enough to just be the channel through which it comes.

    There are countless ways, both negative and positive, in which we can be special. We are special because of our race, gender, sexual preference, religion, IQ, socioeconomic status, size, age, political party, education level, health and on and on and on. But the thing is every label we give ourselves is also a label that thousands of other people use too. We really aren’t all that special after all. And when we drop that story, that’s when we can see through the eyes of the Christ within and those eyes never knew the story to begin with.

    Category My Viewpoint, Spiritual | Tags: ,,,,,,,,,, | No Comments

  7. Confession: I Don’t Like Yoga

    January 27, 2012 by leslee

    I have to thank my friend, Esther, for this post because without realizing it she made me say this out loud, thus finally accepting it myself. I DON’T LIKE YOGA!

    I’ve been doing Yoga and claiming to like it on and off for about 11 years. When I was 25 I became obsessed with working out. I’d hit the gym 6 days a week for 2 hours or more. On my “day off” I’d do a Power Yoga video in my living room. It took major willpower to do that video even once a week. In those days I used Yoga to improve my strength and fitness, I had no idea there was anything spiritual about it. Even the script the instructors used went over my head. In the beginning it was all about the BODY.

    A couple of years later, I came across a book called Yoga for Wellness. My knees had been giving me trouble from all the running I’d done during the body obsession phase and I decided to use Yoga to heal them. I didn’t really do the routines long enough to get the benefits as I just couldn’t stick with it. But still I claimed to like Yoga.

    When I got pregnant, I bought a prenatal Yoga video and did it for the first couple of months. I thought it would help me have a natural delivery. It might have if I’d kept at it, but I didn’t.

    Eventually I embarked on this “spiritual journey” and realized that Yoga is a tool for reaching enlightenment. After learning that OF COURSE I continued to like Yoga. I mean who doesn’t want some enlightenment? I started taking classes at the Y and they weren’t half bad. As long as I didn’t have to touch my toes (because it seems I’m the only human being who CAN’T for the life of her touch her toes), I almost enjoyed it. Eventually I started attending a once a year retreat at Amrit Yoga Institute. During the retreat we do morning Yoga for three mornings. It was there I began to realize, Yoga is kind of like torture. I mean seriously, I can’t even touch my toes, how am I supposed to do all that other stuff? At the first retreat my friend said “I was really wishing we’d do more Yoga.” Thinking back, I might have actually nodded in agreement.

    It’s been 4 years since my first retreat at Amrit. I’ve still been claiming to like Yoga. I bought a 10 session pass at a Yoga studio in town. I’ve used 4 passes. I stare at the clock through the entire class. I jet to the door when it is over. I can’t get out of there fast enough, yet if you read my FB information page it might say that Yoga is one of my hobbies. Heck, I might have listed Yoga as one of the things I like to do in my Bio on THIS website.

    But the other night I was with my friend Esther and she said “I hate Yoga!” And just like that it poured out of me “Oh my gosh, I hate Yoga too!”

    It is boring. It is painful. I’m terrible at it. And…in all the time I’ve spent doing Yoga, I am not one speck closer to enlightenment because of it.

    Somehow I’ve let myself believe for years now that healthy, spiritual people do Yoga and dammit I want to be a healthy, spiritual person. So I’ve lied to myself about how I feel about Yoga and I’ve beat myself up for not doing it more, for not having a regular Yoga practice. The truth is doing Yoga is no different than going to a Baptist church, it works really well for a lot of people but it just doesn’t do it for me!

    It feels really great to let go of this idea that I’m supposed to like and do Yoga. It’s making room for me focus on the things I actually do love that can feed my body and soul. Now I just have to figure out what to do with those 6 passes I have left.

    Category My Viewpoint, Spiritual | Tags: ,,,,,,, | 3 Comments

  8. Allow Your Judgments

    January 12, 2012 by leslee

    Somewhere this week I read a headline about letting go of judgments. I was busy and didn’t follow up and read the article. I’m going to assume (only for the sake of this blog post) that it was suggesting we try to free ourselves from the act of judging. If that is the case, the present moment me will have to disagree.

    We’re human. We judge. It’s in our very nature and if we tried to stop we couldn’t. I used to think that it was possible to stop judging. I mean doesn’t Jesus suggest judging not? But the minute you try to stop you just pile on more judgment. Because when you catch yourself in the act of judging you judge yourself for doing it. It is an exhausting circle.

    I’ve written a few posts about Byron Katie’s work and weeks after returning the book I read it’s still coming up for me. Instead of trying not to judge, try looking forward to the moments when you judge. Those are the moments you can learn about yourself. Yesterday I was at Michael’s buying Mod Podge. I was walking down an aisle and watched as something fell off the shelf and landed on the floor right in front of a customer. Instead of picking up the item and returning it to its place, the man kicked it out of his way. I was so irritated. I decided the man must be inconsiderate, lazy or both. I thought about walking right in front of him, picking the item up and putting it back on the shelf to show him what a decent person would do. I ended up just leaving it on the floor to avoid possible conflict with the man. When I left the store and got in my car, I was still thinking about it. Now I was thinking that I should have picked the item up because it was the right thing to do. And why was this guy such a jerk anyway? I pulled myself out of this drama by thinking about the reality of the situation. Truth be told I know nothing about this man and his motivation for not bending down and picking the item up. It could have been a number of reasons, but he did what he did and all my righteous indignation isn’t going to change it. I had relived that 30 second moment over and over for about 20 minutes. I was fighting reality for nothing. In that moment the judgment was gone. I could laugh at myself and move on, instead of punishing myself for not being able to let it go.

    Judging is what we do almost every waking moment. It’s how we express our preferences and discover our values. The key is to allow the judgments to come up and ask yourself how true they really are and whether or not believing them brings you peace. If the answer to those questions is no, which should be the case for almost everything, try to turn it around and see if you don’t end up released from it.

    Category My Viewpoint | Tags: ,,,,,,,, | 2 Comments

  9. Shoulds Be Gone

    December 16, 2011 by leslee

    I already mentioned once this week that I’ve been reading Loving What Is by Byron Katie. It has been a real eye-opener. The main thing she teaches through her work is how to stop fighting reality. If you fight reality you will always lose.

    One of the ways I fight reality is with my shoulds.

    I should keep my house clean.
    I should eat healthier.
    I should be more organized.
    I should go to the gym more.
    I should be more creative in my cooking.
    I should want to travel somewhere besides Disney World.
    I should read more fiction.
    I should be writing my book.

    Just creating that list was anxiety-inducing.

    The truth is:

    My house is clean about one hour a week, the rest of the time it is lived-in-messy.
    When it comes to my eating, this mostly raw, mostly vegan thing isn’t exactly working for me.
    As for being organized, I’m not and I never have been.
    I go to the gym about three times a week. I guess I could go more if I quit my job and stopped volunteering at the elementary school.
    My family sits at the table for a home-cooked meal about 6 nights a week, creative or not that’s pretty damn good in my book.
    I’m a sucker for the happiest place on earth!
    I’m slightly addicted to non-fiction books.
    I’ve taken a break from writing book two in the series, but I will get back to it.

    Anytime we think someone or something should be different than it is, we are creating unnecessary suffering. I have a friend who’s young son was a late talker. When he was two and a half, he still wasn’t saying much at all. He isn’t even my son and I was worried about his development. But the reality was that he wasn’t talking and all the worrying in the world wasn’t going to gift him with gab. I don’t know how concerned my friend was about his speech, but when he was closer to three he started talking. That was about six months ago and I swear that if he was asked to give the State of the Union address right now, he could probably do it. All the worry it turns out was for nothing, the boy’s a born orator, he just had his own time table.

    I plan to start noticing when I use the word should. If it’s something I can and want to do than I’ll just do it-like thinking I should wash the dishes. If it’s something I have no mental power over -like thinking I should change my feelings or my green eyes- I’m going to accept the reality of the situation instead.

    Category My Viewpoint | Tags: ,,,,,,,, | 2 Comments

  10. What am I for?

    December 7, 2011 by leslee

    I’m a political junkie who has decided to step back from the scene. I watch and read enough to know what’s going on but not enough to feed those goblins.

    The goblins are those buggars in my brain that tell me “they” are the bad guys and I must fight them. I’ve learned that being mad at the other side just clouds my mind and makes me unloving. I don’t win anything being filled with anger. So, I had to stop thinking of who I was against.

    I’m researching slavery right now for my next book. I was reading the writing of Frederick Douglass and it touched me deeply. Had I lived back then I like to think I would have been a staunch abolitionists. I would have been against slavery, but more importantly I would have been for the rights and freedoms of all people.

    Being transported in time through Mr. Douglass’ words brought me to the question: What am I for NOW? Just like I would have been back then, I am for individual freedom, fair treatment, and the rights of all to make a happy life. I am for marriage equality. I am for universal healthcare. I am for a clean and safe environment. I am for an education system that encourages creative and innovative thinking. I am for women here in America and all around the world rising and prospering. I am for kids-teaching them to believe in themselves but also to work hard. I am for accountability and common sense. I am for love and respect.

    I wonder what would happen if we all stopped giving our mental and emotional energy to what we are against and focused on what we are for??

    Category My Viewpoint | Tags: ,,,,,,,,,, | 1 Comment

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